I Officially Refuse to Acknowledge that Question

I’m kind of getting sick of seeing Duck Dynasty stuff everywhere I turn. And then I saw this:

And I still have yet to figure out why anyone cares about these people. They make duck calls, I guess? And they have beards.

I’m sick of getting asked if my beard growing decision was in response to the popularity of this show. No. The answer is no. I’ve had this beard, in some form or another, for longer than these people have known fame. And it shall continue beyond the point when said fame whittles away into some forgotten wasteland. Into the depths of Reality Show Hell in which people like Doctor Drew console the likes of Snookie on her recent decision to give up crystal meth.

I find their beards oddly false. That is not to say fake, because I can say with near certainty that they are real beards. I however do not believe that these individuals even once cared about the beard itself, and are moreso considering the look of the beard and bandanas and camouflage as the look of the common man or the “Joe Sixpack” as was the popular turn of phrase pre-2008. I mean, look at this:

I do not honestly know if they make an effort to tell those around them that their bearded ruggedness is genuine and not simply an appeal to the uncivilized world about them, but I’m officially sick of being asked about any connection between their beards and my own.