The Beardly

For some time now, I have been the companion of a beard.

Yon beard!

Yon beard!

I suggest that I am companion to said beard because it is attached to me and we, together, interpret the world. This beard has been growing on me (pun intended) for as long as ten years in some form or another. However, it was not until recently that I was convinced by my wife to grow it out. Thus, it has been growing in length for approximately four months.

In the early stages, it was unruly and wild. It curled and curved, meandered and tarried about some untrodden path toward no semblance of order. Some months back, I decided that something must be done to contain my beard’s untamed growth beyond simple clipping and shaping. That was when I discovered the wonders of beard oil.

Worry not, fellow traveler of the Worldwideweb. Before I began the research, I had never been aware of such a thing even existed. Oddly, there is a world of beardly solvents and tinctures that exists below the surface of our own just as Diagon Alley exists beyond the normal human perception. This world includes such items as beard oil, moustache wax, boar’s bristle brushes, pre-shave oils, beard specific shampoos, and far more. Unfortunately, this line of mystically obscure products is frequently fraught with the ills of high prices. Fortunately, there is a way.

I decided to strike out and create my own, which could be tailored to my specific needs and desires. I began with a recipe recovered from here. I gathered the ingredients, such as the carrier oils (which simply add bulk and moisturizing to the product) and the essential oils (which add varying topical characteristics as well as intoxifying scents) from the Bulk Apothecary. I bought a nice dropper glass from my local co-op. The recipe was thus:

The stache stash.

The stache stash.

Carrier Oils:

Almond oil
Jojoba oil

Essential Oils:

Peppermint oil (About 10 drops)
Black pepper oil (2-3 drops)
Tea tree oil (5-6 drops)
Cypress oil (5-6 drops)

Add the essential oils according to the recipe. Fill the remainder of the bottle with almond oil and jojoba oil. If you would like it to be a bit thicker, add more jojoba, but keep the total quantity of jojoba less than that of the almond oil. Shake before use. Put anywhere from a few drops to a dropper’s worth in the palm of your hand. Rub your palms together and apply oil to beard. Work it around so that it is evenly distributed. Use a boar’s bristle brush to ensure adequate distribution and style your beard as desired.

As I used this up, I found more essential oils to add into the mix in differing quantities: cedar oil, pine needle oil, coffee oil, et cetera. I used these in lieu of the peppermint oil. Your best bet would be to experiment with quantities to find what you like. In the end, my beard was much happier with its morning routine of wash, dry, oil, and brush. Now, it is far more agreeable.

All hail the oil!

All hail the oil!

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